Blogging, for me, is a tough thing if I don't fully concentrate on what I want to convey- it's much like writing poetry. Yuh-huh, I used to write poems. I can't do anything else while i'm blogging; I can't watch t.v, can't do anything the same time while i'm blogging- or else I won't put 100% effort into it. Like, right now. I'm watching Criminal Minds as i'm doing this; and it sucks because my mind drifts off into 2 shades of thoughts.
......And 20 minutes later: T.V. is off, nothing else going on; NOW I can concentrate on this blog, hmm...it's like studying.
At the moment, I don't know where to start. There's so many things swirling in my mind, don't know where to begin. I'll start on the things that's been bringing me down lately.
I'm not living on my own at the moment, as I might have mentioned in previous posts, living with the in-laws. It's not a brilliant idea when two families live at the same home. Crikey! It's a circus sometimes. There are some moments during the day where I like to be alone for a moment. I admit it. I like my own company sometimes; there's nothing wrong in being alone at least once a day to think about what you've done for the day or what you've done in your life.
Now that my mother-in-law's back from Indonesia it's back to spending the whole day in my room. Yep, I rarely go outside to the lounge room. I only come out of my room if I need to do these things: cooking, feeding my son, use the bathroom, washing the clothes and hanging them outside, going out for a walk. Call me a basketcase if you like, I don't care, I have my reasons to stay in my room all day when I don't get the house to myself. I pray to Allah Almighty that within one year, from now, all that is going to change. Allah willing, I will have a space for my own family, I won't have to share anything with anyone, except my family.
It has not been confirmed yet, but, we're planning to knock down this house that we're living in and build a duplex; so Robbie's parents live in one and Robbie, Abdurrahman & I in the other. That's the best option that we can go with. It's veerryyyy hard being married to an only child; especially with Robbie's father being sick- constantly asking for him. And imagine if we lived far away from his parents, it's gonna be hard for Robbie and his folks- so alhamdulillah we've resorted to the duplex idea. And this time, InshaAllah, it will happen. I want this to happen SO BAD as much as the next person. But I won't get my hopes up too much; something bad might happen, I won't get my personal feelings in the way. I have to constantly ask Allah Almighty to shower me with patience for as long as it takes; indeed Allah loves those who are patient.
The next thing that's been bringing me down lately is Uni and driving. Why driving? I'll tell you why. I HAVEN'T BEEN ALLOWED TO DRIVE FOR ALMOST 1 YEAR!! Now that's driving me INSAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANE!!! Can you imgaine that?? You've got your full license, love to drive and never get sick of it, you love driving to your folks' house just to have a chat with them and see how your brothers (or sisters) are doing- but you've been deprived of that for a year. ONE YEAR! That's the most time I've spent NOT driving. It pisses me right off at times. But I remind myself to stay patient to seek Allah's pleasure and rewards. But the brighter side to that is this: inshaAllah I will be allowed to drive, with my son in the car, when he's 1 year old, which is on the 3rd of January 2007. That's not long to go, right? It's only a month and a half away! WeeEEeE!! InshaAllah i'll be reunited with my car *sigh*. I hope that I get to take my son to the medical center to ge this 12 months immunisation injection.
The next downfall is Uni. At the end of 2005 I deferred my studies for 12 months. Appparently they discontinued my studies simply because I didn't pay my student union fees. HOW GAY IS THAT??!! Now I have to apply though UAC again!! FAR OUT! !@#$%^&...!!! AAARRGGHH!! It's making me think who Abdurrahman's gonna stay with for a couple of hours, 'cuz with going to uni for part-time is only a 2-days-a-week attendance....I think. But we'll see what happens when I get the word from UAC. INSHALLAH I CAN RE-ENROL AND CONTINUE WITH MY COURSE!!
Ok...on a much brighter note. I can see that my son is about to grow his first set of teeth, at the front. I can see a little white line in the middle of his gums...hehehehhehehe, alhamdulillah, praise Allah. He's becoming more active now, leaving him alone in a room for more than 5 minutes without any sort of entertainment makes a mission impossible. Inshallah he'll be 1 year of age on the 3rd January 2007.
I haven't posted pictures in a long while; I might just do that in this post.
Abdurrahman with his singlet on his head
The little man popping out of his cot
Bath time @ Ummi & Buya's house
Eating watermelon
My "work station", haha!Aight, until next time folks!
~Peace.
1 comment:
inshaAllah things will work out for u Fauz. Things happen for the very best reasons and what happens, will make you a better person, no matter what.
And MashAllah AbdurRahman is getting so adorable and handsome! I can see so much of you in him. That same cheeky grin :D
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